So I’ve been avoiding the issue for, ooh, I don’t know, 5 years now?
Diddling along, letting myself get distracted by other peoples dreams
and hopes and ambitions but never actually taking the time out to think
about me and what I want to achieve.  You know, doing ANYTHING (even
cleaning the toilet) to avoid looking at me and my life.

Why?  What is my fear for goodness sake?

I suppose I was worried that if I started looking, I’d see what I didn’t have and this would make me miserable.

Well, I’ve decided to take the lid of the can of worms anyway and stop
reading about improving my life and actually take action.  Phew.

As it turns it out, I’ve actually achieved more than I’d thought but
just hadn’t put any value on it because it’s stuff that I do.  Dumb
eh?  Well  no more.  For the past two nights (and I’m making this a
daily habit), I’m getting into bed, picking up my notepad and writing
in it what I’m grateful for today.  This means I am focusing on what I
DO HAVE and being thankful for it.

By looking at all the positive things in my life, that is now what I
see, so that is what I now experience and I expect more and even better
things to happen.  I’ve also made the decision to read, listen, watch
and speak positively – it’s a kind of game, catching myself and
searching for the positive phrase instead.

So here I am, on the start of my adventure towards making my life on
The Virtual Hammock become a real hammock on a sunshine filled verandah
with views of the ocean in front of me.

This is what I can see:

I am feeling warm and relaxed and happy.  It is early evening and the
sun is slowly sinking and there is a warm breeze playing over my
browned arms as I stretch them over my head, dangling one leg so my
toes are touching the warm wooden, slightly sandy deck, as I gently
swing in my hammock. 

I am looking forward to meeting friends and family in an hour or so and
smile as I listen to the kids playing in the pool while Nick mixes
himself a drink – the clunk of the ice in the glass signalling he will
join me shortly.

My life is perfect right now.  I have many profitable websites that
offer products or services that I have used and recommend to others.  I
regularly meet with other entrepreneurs and positive, vibrant individuals at
various seminars around the world which inspires and helps me
brainstorm ideas on how I can do more to help myself and others.  I
continue to grow spiritually, developing my healing and spiritual
skills and sharing my knowledge with other healers – showing them how
they can develop their business so that they can get their message and
gifts out to those who need them.

Money is abundant and I effortlessly attract what I need into my life.
I receive and give lots of love. I have plenty of time for friends and
family and through the changes I have made in my life I am able to
inspire other people to be the best that they can be and in doing all
this, the ripples spread out and we are able to help those who are
struggling.

******
What’s YOUR big dream?

Thinking about this helped me realise that my big want is to be seen and heard, liked and respected.

By being too scared to say something in the first place – in case
no-one hears me or sees me, doesn’t care for or like me, or even worse,
does notice me and laughs – what message have I given to myself and my
children?

So now I’m coming out of my rather boring closet and shouting

I’M HERE !!!!

And this is what I have to say.  Some of you may like it, some of you
may hate it, some of you won’t give a brass monkey’s …  But the thing
is, I’m not going to let that stop me. 

As the only thing that has ever stopped me is ME.

So, no more excuses, no more blame or stress.  I’m taking back responsibility and taking ACTION.

Ta Dah!

(Blimey… there’s no backing out now is there…) 
Let me know where you are on your path to self discovery and leave a comment.
Sarah )